The Art of Misdirection
by Kathy Rose
Summary: Hoshi and Travis really want to know what Malcolm did.


Title: The Art of Misdirection (Coda: Divergence)

Author: Kathy Rose

Rating: PG

Codes: S, M, R

Category: Humor

Spoilers: Divergence, various episodes through the series

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to someone else, etc., etc., etc. I'm not making any money, I'm just having fun with the characters. Wish I'd thought of them first.

Travis looked around the sparsely populated mess hall before leaning toward his dining companion and whispering, "What do you think he _really_ did?"

Hoshi stared in exasperation at Travis. His barrage of questions was becoming irritating. She was as curious as he was about Malcolm's former profession, but she didn't know any more than the helmsman did about their armory officer's suddenly mysterious past.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times, Travis," she said to him across the table in the mess hall. "I. Don't. Know."

Hoping she'd ended his inquisition, she stabbed a spear of asparagus with her fork and put it in her mouth.

"Do you think he was a secret agent?"

Unable to speak with her mouth full of the vegetable, Hoshi settled for rolling her eyes.

The handsome young man ducked his head in apology. "I'm sorry. It's just that I can't stand not knowing," he said. Waving his hand for emphasis, he added, "I read all the James Bond and Jack Ryan stories when I was growing up on the Horizon. I've always had a fondness for that type of literature. The action, the adventure, the romance..."

Hoshi made a face at him. "I seriously doubt Malcolm was involved in anything like that. Those stories are all glamorized fiction. Most intelligence work is probably more tedious and boring than anything else. He probably did surveillance or something like that."

"I knew it!" Travis crowed loudly. "You have thought about it."

Hoshi felt a flush start to stain her cheeks as curious faces turned in their direction. "OK," she admitted in a low voice. "Maybe I have wondered about what he did. A little. But I'm not obsessed about it like you are."

Travis lapsed into silence as Hoshi tried to finish her dinner in peace, but she could practically hear the wheels turning in his head as became lost in thought. She was about halfway through her meal, enjoying the shifting expressions on his face as he pondered various possibilities the poor dear was so easy to read when he spoke again.

"No wonder Captain Archer was so ticked off and put him in the brig," he said.

"Don't even go there, Travis," she said warningly. She snapped her fingers at him, trying to get his attention as he glanced at something past her shoulder. "If the captain can overlook whatever it was that Malcolm did in the past, and may have done during our recent mission, we should too."

"An admirable sentiment," came a concise British voice from behind her. "One of which I whole-heartedly approve."

Travis was staring wide-eyed at her as her hand flew to her mouth. As Malcolm came around into her line of view, she shut her eyes in embarrassment.

"May I join you two," Malcolm asked, "or would my presence inhibit your discussion of my past?"

Despite her chagrin, Hoshi opened her eyes to peer at him over her hand, which was still covering her mouth. Realizing how silly she looked, she nodded as she dropped her hand to her lap. At least he didn't seem offended by her comments. He shouldn't be, in any case. She'd been defending him...sort of.

Malcolm sat down and spread his napkin on his lap. The younger officers watched as he picked up his spoon and dipped it into his soup, to all outward appearances not the least bit perturbed by what he'd overheard. Trading a glance with the helmsman, Hoshi was dismayed to see Travis' insatiable curiosity reflected on his face as the object of his inquisitiveness sat less than a meter away from him.

"So," Travis said, "did you have any dangerous assignments?"

Malcolm frowned at him.

"That's OK if you can't tell us," Travis said placatingly. "I understand. It's probably classified."

A slight smile played around the corners of Malcolm's lips.

"Travis, leave him alone," Hoshi said. Turning to Malcolm, she said, "I'm sorry. It's none of our business."

His attention on his soup, Malcolm said, "Actually, many of the things I've done on Enterprise have been much more dangerous."

Travis glanced at Hoshi, giving her a smile and raising his eyebrows at this tidbit before turning back to Malcolm. "Yeah, but you were prepared for it then. I mean, some of the stuff that has happened to us was right out of the blue, no warning at all."

Malcolm didn't say anything, merely spooned more soup into his mouth as he quirked an eyebrow inquiringly at Travis.

"There was the time you were impaled by that mine on the hull," said Travis, who was growing more excited by the moment. "And the time you were shot by a projectile weapon on Terra Nova. And who could forget the Suliban working you over. Man! You looked terrible after that."

"Thanks for reminding me," Malcolm said dryly. "And don't forget the time that Klingon female beat me up on board that ship that was sinking into the gas giant."

"Yeah!" Travis said.

"And what about the heatstroke I got last year in the Expanse? Or, before that, when Commander Tucker and I were almost frozen to death on Shuttlepod One when we thought Enterprise had been destroyed?"

Travis stared at Malcolm in amazement. "I'd forgotten about that!"

"And don't forget I was almost hung as a spy, along with the captain, on that pre-warp planet."

Travis shook his head. "You know, when you list everything like that, it makes you realize how dangerous this line of work is. Maybe you should be getting extra pay."

Malcolm shrugged. "I'm not the only one. What about that time you hurt your leg when were were on that ice comet? We almost didn't get back to Enterprise in one piece. And you got hurt when we went to retrieve those Denobulan scientists who were studying rocks underground."

"Yeah, you're right," Travis said.

Malcolm, having finished his soup, took a sip of tea before looking speculatively at Travis. "Maybe you ought to bring those incidents up at your next review," he said. "Might get you a bigger pay raise."

"You think so?" Travis asked excitedly.

Malcolm nodded. "Say, aren't you due on the bridge?"

Travis shot a glance at the chronometer by the mess hall doors and grimaced. "Yeah. I got so wrapped up in what we were talking about I forgot to keep an eye on the time. Thanks for the advice!" he said, rising and hurrying toward the exit.

Hoshi had been content to remain quiet as Travis had tried to pump Malcolm for information, and she couldn't keep a small smile from her face after the helmsman left the table.

"Anything you'd like to ask me about my secret past?" Malcolm inquired politely.

Hoshi's smile grew bigger. "Oh, there are any number of things I'd like to ask," she said. "But I doubt I'd get any more useful information than Travis did."

"Oh?"

"Don't 'oh' me," she said, mock sternly. "You took control of that conversation and led Travis right where you wanted him to go away from talking about you."

Malcolm chuckled as he reached for his cup. "Noticed that, did you?"

"Yes, I did," she said.

Leaning closer toward her, he said, "I'll let you in on a little secret."

Hoshi couldn't help it. Her pulse beat a bit faster and her attention was fully on Malcolm. Maybe he would tell her something after all.

"There are two things that are important to undercover work," he started.

"Yes?" Hoshi prompted impatiently.

"One is the art of misdirection, which is what I did to Travis," he said, pushing back from the table and standing.

"And the other?" Hoshi asked curiously as she looked up at him.

"If the other side ever catches on to what you're doing, you need to cut your losses and run," he said, then turned and headed for the door.

Hoshi stared after him, wondering at his abrupt departure. Then she started laughing as what had happened hit her. He was implying she was "on to" him, and he most certainly had run.

She was still chuckling softly as she got up from the table and walked through the mess hall doorway, turning in the direction Malcolm had gone. She wondered if he would tell her what the procedure was if the other side pursued when you ran.


End file.
